Tag Archives: surviving cancer

Exhaustion and Eisenhower

I started going back into the office to work last week, and well I guess I’d never really thought much about exhaustion before, but I think I’m encountering it. I am so tired my head keeps falling over, but I have stuff I want to get done. The sad thing is I only went to work two days last week and one, so far, this week. Part of my problem is that I have been encountering some terrible insomnia lately; it seems I’m super tired until my head hits my pillow, then I’m wide awake. Continue reading Exhaustion and Eisenhower

Tired and Chilly

It’s been really chilly here in the evenings lately; that’s not doing much for me, considering all I want to do lately is curl up and sleep anyway. I hadn’t read anything about rituximab causing tiredness, but since my treatment I’ve been more and more tired. I’ve also had a nice rash on my shoulder, which must be related to the rituximab. It’s starting to clear itself up today, but it was really itchy. Very similar to a rash I had on my legs a month or so ago.

I swear some days I could sleep until noon, have a warm bath and sleep some more. I don’t know what’s going on with that. Maybe when you’re healing you need insane amounts of rest or something. If I’m not a little more energetic by the time I go into the hospital for mobilization, I’m going to ask the doctor about it, just to make sure it’s not some weird complication or something. My port site is finally healing up from the adhesives peeling the skin off around it. I’m really looking forward to the removal of the port; I guess in my mind its removal represents the true end of my journey with cancer. It was really invaluable to me during treatment, but I’ve never really liked it. At first, I was constantly aware of it there under my skin, snaking up and over my collar bone, I’ve grown less constantly aware of it, but I still feel it there, and sometimes when I touch the base of my throat (which I had no idea I did as often as I do), I feel the tubing there. It feels very prominent, and I can trace the tubing down my chest to the port. I don’t like feeling it too much though, it kind of freaks me out if I think about it too much.

Well tiredness personified is going to cocoon in a wooly duvet and take a deep sleep… maybe my bear genes are just surfacing, and I just need to go into hibernation.

Toasty In Brisbane

It’s winter here in Australia, and it’s chilly. Not cold really, I’m from Cleveland, Ohio, and it would be an insult to Cleveland to call what we get here cold weather. Nonetheless it’s the kind of weather that makes you want soup, a blankey and snuggles near a fire. That being so I was struck today with the urge to make chili. I must be feeling better because I don’t think I could have handled chili during chemo. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow whether I can really handle it now or not. I can’t wait I’m already planning to make some cornbread to go with it for lunch. Hopefully I can take a bit of heat. It’s hard to try to cook without making some things hot. I’m used to liking really spicy food, but I really can’t take it right now. It’s like the inside of my mouth is absolutely raw.

Anyway, it was nice making up something warm in the cool weather. Having a pot of something simmering is a great way to warm up the house too, so is baking. Lucky I love doing both because that’s the only source of heat in these homes. Though I do have what I think of as a dubious looking fireplace. I have yet to be so brave as to attempt to light a fire in it. I figure I’ll burn down my house, or smoke myself out. Afterall who knows when the chimney was last swept.

I’m still working on getting my roof sorted too, so chimney sweep isn’t really on the register in terms of things needing to be done. I’m so busy with work and other little projects right now anyway, I don’t have time to worry about about stuff like a fireplace.

I have noticed in the last week or so, some of my whispy hair has started to grow. The little stubs are starting to get longer, but they look so fine and blonde, like my baby hair. I don’t know what’s going to grow out of my head at this point, but it looks whispy. Maybe I’ll go with the whispy look; I do think I need to cut it though because some bits are growing faster than other bits. Like everything is mostly even and not even a quarter of an inch long and then there’s one hair all of the sudden that’s like 2 inches long, and I know it wasn’t missed when I shaved it. It’s just decided to defy the chemo and grow anyway. I almost hate to cut such a little fighter, maybe I’ll keep it. My lone, tough as nails hair, giving cancer the finger.