All my celebrating last week has left me very tired this week, but I’m still doing so much better than before. I spoke with my doctor last Thursday, and she said it typically takes six months to a year to get over the effects of chemo. I hope I’m a six monther. I’m feeling pretty good overall though. The fractures in my pelvis are still bothering me. Continue reading Tuckered Out
I don’t know what’s going on, I think maybe it’s me growing back my tumor riddled pelvis, and it apparently is painful to grow bone. That or maybe the nerves are coming back, or I don’t know what. In any case I’m having a lot of pain in my butt hehehe It sounds funny to say it, but it feels awful. Sitting on it is hurty, laying on it is hurty, and just letting it hang is hurty. It’s apparently in a hurty mood. It’s odd the pain isn’t more consistent or doesn’t fall into any sort of pattern, I just start aching and as it goes on the aching becomes more intense. It’s a really weird sort of pain too. Nothing throbbing or anything like that, just a sore, sort of aching. At least it’s not constant I guess. Sometimes it slacks back off, and I just feel a minor sort of soreness, but today it’s been pretty intense. I was thinking maybe my ischium (a wee thin bone that runs along your pubic area & I think makes up part of the setup for your hip socket) is healing. The doctor said in the x-rays he had taken last, the ischium was still showing signs of fracture, since a lot of my pain is in that area I keep thinking maybe it’s the bones knitting back together. I’ve never really had a broken bone that I was aware of before, so I have no idea how it would feel, but that’s what I’m hoping I’m feeling.
Anyway I’d say if you don’t like a lot of pain, stay away from any sort of primary bone cancer; it’s pretty painful. What I keep fearing is that the healing is going to be like a rewind of the disintegration. There were times when I first started really having a lot of issues with this, when I would literally be unable to do anything but lay on my left side and rock and keen in pain. I’d spend nights and days just locked in a room by myself, crying on the verge of screaming. Nothing would relieve the pain, and I honestly felt sometimes like it was driving me out of my mind. I was trying to stay away from people at that point because there was nothing any of the doctors I’d seen would do for me. One had given me valium; I don’t really know why, it didn’t seem to have any pain relieving power. I thought it was pretty hopeless then, I guess what was happening was the tumor was invading the area around the base of my spine and impinging on a lot of nerves there, but I had no idea what it was back then. At least now if I have to go through it again, my doctor will give me some pain killers. I had the distinct impression before that the doctors thought I was some sort of pain pill junkie looking for a fix. I didn’t think junkies were as fat as me, but maybe pain pill junkies are also chubby wubbies. Who knows?
This reminds me that I have a very nasty letter to write to one Dr. Malcolm Rutledge, who, upon my paying $60 to have a consult with him at the behest of his collegue Dr. Maureen Fitzsimmons, told me that he wouldn’t have me as a patient because I was fat, and I could just expect to have joint pain because fat people have joint pain. No comment on why I’d just have pain in one hip joint and nowhere else. Way to go, guess your name wasn’t “Dr. Thorough” or anything. Good to know I could’ve died because Dr. Rutledge is a jackass who hates fat people, or at least hated this one. I was embarrassed to see another doctor after meeting with him. I guess I felt somewhere inside that he was right, even though I’d gained a lot of weight because I’d lost the use of my leg. What’s funny is he was fat himself. He had one of those big old lap tummies. Oh well, I’m off to soak in a warm tub. Maybe that’ll help take some of the soreness out of my bones. If nothing else it’ll feel good