Day to Day

I’m feeling resolutely human of late, and I don’t think I care for it. I’ve always been quite strapping, pretty well bursting with energy most of the time, plus a little invincible feeling. I’m stunned that just going into the office a couple days a week, managing a bit of public transport, water cooler talk with my work mates… is killing me. I need to take an afternoon walk when I go into the office to keep myself from clean passing out at my desk. I feel like a broken record too, I’m stuck in the “I’m so tired” groove, and I wish someone would give my needle a good flick. Everything I ever thought feeling tired was, is energetic compared to this. It’s funny too because I’m eating some of the best meals and in the best proportions that I ever have. No caffeine or caffeinated drinks, loads of fresh fruit and veg, limited amounts of bread and pasta and regular lean protein, my little nutrient pie charts on Spark People show a good balance of carbs/proteins/fats and I’m doing well with my calorie range, so I don’t think it has anything to do with how I’m eating. Sleep is another matter. I’ve always had a bit of chronic random insomnia; I don’t really focus on it or dwell over it, but it is often hard for me to shut down for the day. I’ve been making a concerted effort in terms of that though. I know sleep is really important, and I’m making a serious effort to prioritize my bedtime. Hopefully that will help me out soon because I seriously feel depleted. I guess maybe I should do some reasearch into how long chemo sticks with you. My body is feeling great though. Stronger than it has in years and more stable. I was noticing when I was walking a few days ago how much more power I feel through my core, particularly through my pelvic area. It’s really such a relief to finally feel strong and sure of myself when I walk again, one step at a time I guess… power walking for now, power working for later